So Much Nostalgia: “Carver”
I tried writing this article a few months ago and couldn’t find the words to do the music justice. I probably still don’t have the means to properly explain how I feel about it, but I need to tell someone. I originally heard Carver on Bandcamp last year and almost immediately knew it would be special to me. I listened to it too many times to count, each time forming a new, different type of love for it. There are some albums you hear, and you just know it’s going to stick with you forever. Nostalgia takes over when I listen now, nostalgia for past love, past loss, past sunsets and seasons and empowering yet painful heartbreaks. This album just makes me feel everything, all at once; I don’t know how better to describe it.
Carver, an album by Nathan Stocker, was released under the artist name Brotherkenzie. Stocker, who has been making music for years, is also a guitarist and vocalist for hit-band Hippo Campus. While this EP has been on bandcamp for some time, it was just recently put on popular streaming platforms. Fans of Hippo Campus and new fans alike came to bond over this five-song beauty of an album.
Carver, which was originally released in 2016, forces the audience to soak up every single bit of deep instrumental melody embedded into the five songs. There are many songs I’ve listened to in my lifetime that have made me feel the music was an afterthought to the lyrics, like there was no connection between the two. The opposite is true of Carver; the acoustic guitar woven through the softly sung lyrics feel as connected as interlocking hands with someone you love. Adding to that the soft tones of harmonica and tambourine, the EP is able to successfully pull on your heartstrings and draw you into his world, if only for 17 minutes.
While each song plays off of one another to create one fully formed piece of work, each song is uniquely different and interesting. It starts with the song Darling Baby Doll, a mostly acoustic track with lyrics that drive my thoughts directly towards my first breakup. Stocker sings, “At least we both tried, two kids find inside each others arms, though it’s a while before we die, my arms are tired from the weight.” He repeats the line “so I’m done now, I don’t care” multiple times throughout the song as well. The memory of an enlightening, messy, passionate relationship with a painful ending is something most of us know all too well; in this song, I can actually feel the mess that Stocker sings about. It’s no question that we’re nostalgic for the past and the people that stayed there, but the weight of it may carry us to the depths of despair if we’re not careful. Sometimes it’s necessary to let go of it and do what Stocker does: not care.
The next song, Treat You Right, takes an unexpected turn with the instrumentals being faster and more upbeat than the first. Stocker proclaims, “I’m fake grinner and a worthless cheat, I’m a bum, I’m a cancer that can’t be treated, Imma find a way to treat you right.” He then goes on to describe the person that the song’s about as being as gold as the sun. It’s a compare and contrast essay between Stocker and this person, describing and somehow embracing his own flaws and using them as a way to show this person that he’s the one. There is a light at the tunnel and it’s the bright possibility to become better, for this person and because of this person. He degrades himself, calling himself a goon and a fuck, but somehow does it in a way that makes your heart grow fonder of him instead of pulling away.
The third song is the only one that features a name, Lucy, making me wonder if this entire album is about this person. In this slow ballad filled with acoustic guitar and melodious harmonica, Stocker reminisces about spending the seasons in Brooklyn with Lucy. Warm sun on their lips in the summer, leaves changing in autumn, spilt wine on new shoes, and laughing through the night. A typical romance novel-type love story that we all dream of. I picture it happening on moonlit rooftops and busy New York sidewalks; whether it’s quiet or chaotic they are there, together.
The last song on the album is titled Little Rabbit. A song about wanting each other but not being right for each other. Star-crossed lovers. Once again, Carver brings up his flaws when he tells the person that he can’t be their man, and that if they saw his sins they would agree. While this is the case, he still asks this person to lay with him and pretend the night is only theirs. It’s the classic push-pull relationship that comes with the expected but no-less heartbreaking pain. If we only have one night, why not just spend it together?
I can’t help but wonder if the entire album is about one person, or if each song includes experiences and feelings that have come from multiple people. Either way, this album will always be one that I turn to on a rainy day in bed or an empty car going 80 on the highway with all the windows open.
Listen to the album here.